“I takes a hudge effort to free yourself from memory” -Paulo Coelho

When you watch something that you can never forget and it’s not good it stays there. My first memory as a child is the worst. People ask me why I hate easter normally I answer with its a cheesy thing. Even though that’s not the right answer that’s what I say not to feel the way I do sometimes when people really get to know me. Those looks people give you when they find out that something bad has happened to you is the worst. Sympathy looks to pierce the soul because the more you want to ignore what has happened. People that do know just bring it back even if they don’t know what they are doing. It can take just one look to break done a wall you’ve built for yourself. Everyday that’s my life. And it isn’t fun for me and anyone else that it happens too. Stand up or at least try.

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“You dont always need a plan. Sometimes you just have to BREATHE, TRUST, LET GO and see what happens” -Mandy hale

When you have this feeling of anger and you start to feel overextended, What do you do you let it out. So today that’s what I did to my best friend. Throughout everything going on I was overwhelmed and overextended. I haven’t talked to my father in 2 weeks and haven’t seen him for about over a month. When he left I thought it was gonna be a normal weekend yelling stuff being broken. Then him leaving and sleeping with other people. Somehow after all that I knew my mom would let him back after all this. But this time he didn’t he got a new girlfriend. Now they live together. For some reason, I don’t understand I miss him in a way. He was never a good father I don’t think he even deserved that title. But I gave it to him. Now that he says he wants back in my life I’m not sure. I don’t want to be hurt again I thought that was done when he left. I say throughout all the shitty stuff I’ve been through I could handle it all. Even though I say it I’m not sure it’s true we all have feelings even if we don’t want them… we have them. We can’t fight them even if we fight so hard. That feeling of being broken by someone you should trust with all of you. So what should I do…..

Trust or bust?

                                                                       -A friend